yeah i know.

i know you can get into any network, i know you can read anything i write, i know you feel like you basically own my shit.

that's fine i get that.

steal my stuff.

i can't steal yours.

i don't own you.

i don't have even i tiny sliver of control here.

i'm not fuckin calling sky dance.

i believe in fuckin ethics.

yeah.

i'm not reporting this shit.

you are cheating and i'm playing by the rules,
open ended, ask me a question and i'll fucking answer dipshit.

yeah, maybe i've changed my opinion about "true love"

maybe i don't know what it is anymore.

i guess i just have to fly to new york to see if i still feel it.

3-4 years is a long fucking time to go without feeling your vibe in person,

and carrying out "your deeds"

is getting fucking tiresome.

just know that while i may love you,

i DO have the power to fuckin disappear in the wind.

leave all this shit behind.

make new goals,

change my entire life's purpose, get a whole new personality,

change everything about myself,

including who i focus my attention on,

and what i find important in life,

who my loyalty lies with

and what i do with my time.


so if you find me important even just to "steal my fuckin shit"

i recommend you set things straight and stop acting like a fuckin chicken.

i didn't learn a single thing when you blocked me on twitter except YOU were the one who was lying, and YOU were the one taking things personally, and YOU couldn't handle my smart mouth.

and i'm NOT saying i wasn't taking things personally. I WAS MOST DEF taking things FUCKING PERSONALLY. probably too personally. but you blocking me on twitter, was just a fucking confirmation.

sure it burnt at the time, but i'm bright like a diamond, and i can't really get scratched.

so.

you can put me in the papers,

make me look like an idiot,

you can say that "you discovered me"

take all the credit for my choices

and you can basically OWN me,

but you don't and i THINK A LOT MORE PEOPLE KNOW THAT THAN YOU WOULD LIKE.

so.

that's why i'm in the shadows isn't it.

you don't want to look bad.

well, when i fuckin show up in your city,

tables will be turnt, and you won't have control, because i'm like cat woman, and you're like batman,

and when i fuckin disappear and reappear, you're going to be going,

"OH, That's what that feels like..."

for the first time in a long time.

and no. i'm not breaking into your house and stalking you and being a predator and all that crap

i'm not.

i'm not planning anything illegal here.

i just fuckin said i'm playing by the fuckin rules.

i'm not suing anyone, i'm not going to harass anyone, not you, not your boyfriend, not anyone.

so harass me, try your VERY hardest to push my buttons and I GUARANTEE, you will not be able to surprise me.

well, ok, i do give you a little bit of credit here, you have surprised me.

batman surprises cat woman all the time.

i think they surprise each other.

and fuckin bane like, cat woman is more scared of him than batman so

i mean i suppose i do have a weakness for incredibly dangerous strong evil people.

but you know the thing about cat woman that batman does not possess is she is less physically dangerous and more mentally dangerous to people.

including batman.

and i think she know that.
but she protects batman's good interests.

she always has.

she always will.

she's pretty loyal to batman even when she's stealing his mother's pearls.

she's got a reason for every thing she does and it's usually a mystery but, you know, there's a lot of fuckin forplay that really only batman and cat woman can explain... to each other.

and really, TECHNICALLY no one in the comics is supportive of batman's RELATIONSHIP to cat woman or cat woman's relationship to batman, including each other, and they are fuckin confused as shit, like they are business partners, and they steal shit from each other and like, idk...

it's pretty crazy.

they have to constantly accept each other and forgive each other for the sins done to each other for the cause of fighting for what they believe is right and they really don't agree on most subjects, yet...

they still love one another..
and you know.

batman has his flings.

cat woman has flings... selena kyle like i don't know what she does when she isn't being cat woman besides being the sexiest cat lady ever. she's a fucking crazy mother fucker.

she pretty much flirts with anything that moves.

batman/ bruce wayne like um.

he basically has to lie to everyone about everything.

and he has guilt trip complex that only alfred and cat woman understand.

soo


i mean this is like very accurate.

the only thing i will technically steal from you.

is, your heart.

and that is only if you will let me.

so this is what I'm planning on doing so i can pretty much just be honest and give you the 411 with out giving you TMI

1. i'm going to new york sometime near the end of february
2. i will be staying at the Jane Hotel
3. i will be attending your play at some point.

(you will have to do some detective work if you want to find out more details than i am currently giving you.. i'm sure you probably already know the exact trip agenda that i have planned)

4. i may or may not speak to you
5. RIGHT NOW I IMPLORE YOU, BEG YOU, TO PLEASE STOP USING MY LIFE AS A STORYLINE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S SHOWS. IT'S MY STORY, AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU CHANGE IT. I WANT TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE IT MY WAY, AND ACTUALLY I WOULD PREFER IF YOU JUST OFFERED ME A JOB OR AN INTERNSHIP THAT WAS BASED ON ROOM AND BOARD AT A LOCATION THAT WAS NEAR THE INTERNSHIP AND THEN IT WOULD NOT BE SUSPICIOUS AT ALL
6. i have no evidence that you are interested in me romantically and i do have evidence (photographic) (not taken by myself) that you lately are very much romantically interested in your current relationship and you want to continue that and i have NO INTENTION of interrupting that or trying to break that up or steal anything regarding that part of your life during this lovely time for you and i just want you to be happy, that is true. i have no evidence that you specifically would like me to even come to nyc at all, you have not invited me there, you have not called me, you have not emailed me, you have not sent me a letter, and you have not spoken to me directly since you have blocked me on twitter... that i am presently aware of.
7. i am an empath (i think) and i can feel i guess certain emotions coming from other people or animals, and i can feel colors, and i guess that technically means i can feel auras so i can most likely tell you what your aura is if i am in the same room with you. it's not perfect like i have been with people who can "supposedly" SEE auras, and this is definitely an area of soft science, but they agree with me that i am right. so i can't feel your aura in a picture, or i can't feel your aura far away, but sometimes, SOMETIMES, usually at night, because i just had felt so intimate with you during our first i guess like "introduction" i just get very aware of your existence in the world and i had not been thinking of you at all, and it's like i know that you are very very uncomfortable.  i get very worried.

and i'm scared for you. and i know that you probably hate this (maybe) but i start to pray. i start to pray not just for you but for all the people around you that i don't know who is there, i pray for you boyfriend, i pray for your brother, i pray for your family, i pray for your co workers, and i pray for your fans. i pray for myself. i just start praying for people that remind me of you. and it becomes this larger and larger circle of people that i'm praying for.

then i start praying for britney spears and leonardo, and i pray for oscar isaac, and i pray for jessica chastain, and i pray for hilary duff, and i pray for jennifer lawrence, and i pray for zoe and chris, simon, anton, karl and pray for people. i just pray. i pray i pray i pray. and then i just calm down. everything just comes to a calm. and things get better for a while.