mm that's really interesting.

it's like you are purposely deleting things from my theatre or something.

i don't care if i'm making this all up in my head.

i really think that someone is against me and i don't know who.

the important fact of the matter is I'm trying to make some shitty art here.

all of a sudden i start name dropping and i get a whole bunch less views on my blog

i guess someone is like taking photos of it and like idk emailing it to people or something.

pdfs and shit.

idgaf.
it's on the internet so i guess it's meant to be fucking read.

i mean this really was intended only for like two people initially and then i guess like those two people's friends were interested in their lives so they were like, fuck i want to read about this crazy ass chick.

whatever.

it doesn't matter now because it's totally inconceivable that i,
 a very talented person who is completely lonely and bonkers

could ever be in the presence of "THE MAGNIFICENT Y'ALL" ever again.

i'm just "beneath you"

so i guess this quest i'm on really has no purpose

and neither does yours and philosophically i'm here again at the way that i believe that there is no point to life and i have absolutely nothing to live fore because life is just another test that i will foreseeably fail.

it doesn't matter how

witty

smart

funny

pretty

unique

talented

original

there will always be someone better i am not perfect

and i'm not going to claim that i am and be poser

and i think we've all listened to avril lavigne and we all were supposed to learn that lesson and maybe i'm the only one who got the point of the song

and that's very sad because initially her music was and sometimes continues to be very very great.

indeed.

so i am absolutely positive i will be rejected if i audition for some agent or talent place

and i'm not going to get a theatre role

i hate memorize monologues

and that's not my talent AT ALL

i'm more of a like, ok i might can do this today kind of person and i need someone very special to recognize that in me and it's not going to be some june parker from fifth street.

also there's the issue that my parents will no longer allow me to drive my own vehicle.

they think i'm going to drive all the way to new york.

well that would be impossible because i don't have my credit card either,

i'm literally STUCK HERE IN THE MUD

and i need a knight in shining armor to rescue me

i am a damsel in distress

and chivalry is not dead

i know it's not

and people are being pussies.