love letters

my own father accused me of being a stalker.

this morning my mother told me that we were going to "have a family meeting" to put my grandmother in hospice.

i don't think it's time for her to die.

i think my parents want to kill her.

i'm not going to the meeting.

my friend lied to me I think.

that is very dishonorable.

why can't people be honest with each other.

why is that so scary.

if my dad would be honest and confront himself he would just tell his sister that he can't bear to take care of her anymore.

or my cousin.

maybe it's someone else's turn.

just because he's exhausted doesn't mean she has to die.

i mean my sister already killed my cat.

why does she have to be responsible for my grandmother's death too?

if we are really being honest here she would blame me.

because of my mental illness, that's the reason she constantly needs a boyfriend.

and a puppy

and a kitten

and a baby

and a wedding

and she can't visit my grandmother because it's too stressful.

and she can't go to therapy because she doesn't have an illness.

and no one will take my side because i'm a psycho stalker.