poetry? nah.

z

the last letter

zzzzzz.....
sleep

zachary

dormancy

that's where you are

i've been waiting for you a long time

i think you think about me subconsciously

maybe during REM's

our little ellipsis

hasn't really been moving along.

and neither have i.

i've been waiting.

yes i'm moving.

but that doesn't mean I'm not going to keep waiting.

i'm the queen of dormancy.

loyalty.

i'm stronger than you might think.

if success is what you seek,

go for it baby..

get as much as you need, lap it up,

get all of those claps and awards

and recognition.

and i will be watching and waiting..

technically stalking and debating

repeating the meeting over and over

in my mind

what is love

how do you make love stay

are you in love?

do you want it to be this way because i will be frozen in this moment and i will never leave?

if that's the case, you are sorely mistaken,

there is nothing you could do to me that i could not forgive.

you can cheat, you can lie, you can steal, you can expose,

and i will forgive you

the questionable forte over and over zachissimo

ellipses .....

i know you are real

i know that you have gas occasionally

i know that you have all sorts of medical problems

you pick up dog shit

sometimes you have a bad hair day

though I do love your hair

sometimes you probably smell terrible

sometimes you are distant

sometimes you get angry

you are angry with me

you will want me to leave and i will cry

sometimes you have to carry all sorts of crazy things in your pockets

you've fucked a man where he's pooped before.

i've acknowledged it.

i'm fine with it.

we all do these things..
i haven't done that specific thing. per say.

but i have done gross things.

things i probably wouldn't care to share with you but

lately i have been a bit gassy

my toilet is clogged

i'm on my period

i have acne all over my face and i haven't changed since yesterday

i honestly don't remember when the last time i brushed my teeth was and it feels SO GROSS

but i'm really lazy

honestly if you were here i'd tend to it about once every 30 minutes

my hygiene problem would magically fix itself

but the whole period thing, gassiness and clogged toilet. that's completely out of my control

i have food from yesterday maybe a couple days ago in my bed

empty soda cans

it's a huge mess

it's really disgusting i'm a lazy pig

i've eaten raw bacon and raw biscuits out of the can.

by now you are probably really grossed out

i'm really just being honest here there's probably not anything you could do that would scare me.

except for leaving me.

i don't care if i have to go to the arctic circle and cuddle naked with you in a dead bloody animal carcass.

like a fucking caveman and eat a fucking bloody raw like liver

it probably tastes SO GROSS

i am not going to eat a bug

ew

i'm really a lot more like a boy than you might expect me to be.

i don't clean my room

my mom hires a maid to help me

the upkeep of my body is just SO SHABBY

it's horrible

i'm shameless

you know everybody has dirty secrets

some girls are slutty hoe bags

and they like fuck guys with dirty socks

i had that phase it was SO GROSS

ew

i have a thing the feet have to either BE CLEAN

or BE COVERED

mm

and so yeah

like emmy RoSSUM did this episode of shameless where she was the other woman and she did it in the back of a mini van and there were cheerios everywhere EW

ok so i guess i'm shameless in a different way

i eat raw bacon

and biscuits and cookie dough as well

i eat like a really rare steak raw tuna like

i love like i guess raw food SOMETIMES

and i basically just like stay in bed ALL DAY

thinking about my imaginary life

when i really could clean my room

take a shower

and like

idk

go to starbucks and meet some like ON FLEEK nerd guy

that i don't give two shits about

and then end up fucking him in his room

except he's actually a pot dealer and OH

i already did that

so

here i am thinking only about whatever i want

basically in a coma

i'm like a vegetable basically

this like started out as a poem and it turned into a hilarious confession lol

oh yeah and like occasionally i get on a video game when i forgot who all my friends were because they have changed they gamertag like a million times

and I'm' like WHO ARE YOU AGIAN

and then i get in the zone and i'm cussing out like an 8 year old.

so

no

i'm not really expecting you to be perfect at all.

i pretty much know that you are going to fart probably a lot

every guy does and it's not flattering at all

and like i'm not gonna say that the whole half eyebrow thing turns me on
but i will say that i think i find it a bit more attractive than other people who are like

OMG thank god his eyebrows are back to normal

because i think i'm going to make fun of you and keep it real

IF i was there

and that's a HUGE if because i think you are "in love" with some model who is just lying his way through his entire relationship

and it's like totes obvious that this is just some huge game and it's fucking annoying as fuck

and believe it or not

i am telling the truth

at the beginning

i was under the impression that i had this unique experience with you and that you wouldn't want people to know about it

and i definitely didn't

so i didn't tell anyone

LIKE anyone

like i thought that like when stuff like that happened that like magazines were like informed

but it turns out that i was just really paranoid

and i still am

hahaha

but the rub is

that i think you may be as well

because i think we are like turning into each other

i'm becoming more nice

and you are becoming more witty

haha

and it's very funny

and the whole facial expressions thing like i'm going to have to really put many hours into studying that

like my pictures and when they were taken vs your older movies and like facial expressions and how they've changed since you have met me because we are looking more and more like each other

and i can attribute a little bit of that to miles because he really does look so much like me

but our faces are different.

and your face looks more like my face than his face

which says something about you

and how you spend your time off.

it would be really interesting if he was like "a beard" LOL

hahahah

that was a huge coincidence don't you think.

wow.

well
i'm done.