it is a truth universally acknowledged that

everybody loves a good laugh


BUT USUALLY

it's at someone's expense.

there was a quote by some philosopher somewhere

i don't know who

that said, it's really not good to analyze jokes,

because they become UNFUNNY.

well, i guess that's why my brand of humor is just so... DARK.

i hyper analyze everything.


and you see

that video i've made years ago...

if we are going to continue to assume that famous people around the globe are reading my blog

and viewing my "private" thoughts.

well i'm supposedly,,
the next honey boo boo.

BUT YOU SEE.

honey boo boo wasn't ever funny to me.

and neither was britney spears or anyone else in that category,

and anyone who thought it was - IS TWISTED, SICK, DEMENTED, and CRUEL.

so, with my brand of battle called STICK SOME TRUTH UP YOUR BUTT,

i will win.

because the truth will come out.

and there may be all sorts of delays..

but the truth sets you free.

and even if i look bad.

even if it's for a while..

i had good intentions the entire time.

SO, you can,

1. put a fatty acne photo of me on a tabloid saying EW SHE's fugly.

or you can find my drunk youtube video and release it saying that i'm a sexual predator.

or you can claim all sorts of opinionated bullshit about me

and the whole time i will laugh.

i will laugh i will cry and i will just know all the wiser that i was right the whole time.


because fame doesn't matter to me.

now, knowing that i was right does.

knowing that someone that i cared about A LOT, cared about me too, legit.

that matters.

and that's my agenda here.

so, this whole, let's impersonate christa and make her look retared scenario, it's not going to work.

it's just going to backfire, and you will have to apologize if i ever do come into the spotlight and claim these things, and

i will not be proud.

i will not say i told you so.

i will not fan my feathers.

i will forgive you.

i will cry.

and i will attempt to be friendly towards you and show you the love that EVERYONE deserves no matter how nasty they have been.

because i'm nasty as well.

i've made cruel jokes

i've done horrible things.

i'm admitting

i'm coming clean.

i'm apologizing.

i am sorry.

i learned something from it.

i am trying to change.

i don't want to be two faced.

i want to be real.

my grandmother is dying.

i've never lost someone before.

i had to feed her.

she has dementia.

she's declining.

she was mean to me my whole life.

and now she''s nice and it's really sad.

i'm a person.

she's a person.

you are a person.

we are people.

none of us are better than the other.

let's all be people together.

and let's not lie about it.

let's not lie about being people.

let's realize what being a person means, and stand up for that.

what do you think it means to be a person?

i don't have to go on stage and win an award to realize that i have done many honorable things.

and changed people's lives.

every day the world changes.

every day.

you change the world every day positive or negative you do.

i hope that you try to make  a positive change.