you're exactly right

i was holding you back

i don't want to do that

and how could we possibly know if we're in love,
maybe it was just a delusion,,,,

gosh, i just want you to disregard anything i've ever told you.

what the fuck do i know.

you just had this power over me and i need to be free of it so we can both move on with our lives because if you really did love me for real

you would be here rn but you aren't so what the fuck do i know.

i don't have any hope anymore.

so unless you just drop everything as soon as possible and get on a plane or send me a fucking potato or some fucking glitter bomb

like i'm going to really try very hard to be done.
yeah?

you don't want to change.

you would have to change literally almost everything about yourself to be even my friend because of the situation that i have literally put you in a corner.

so i'm sorry about that and i need to fucking watch where i go to the fucking bathroom.

damn it. fuck.

look we didn't meet,
there's nothing between us and
you literally have no reason to even read this.

so just go be happy with your cooler friends than me because you are totally right i want to wear sweatpants and i am not able to wear high heels because i'm PHYSICALLY FUCKING HANDICAPPED DAMN IT
and i don't want to change my fucking appearance.

for you for them for anyone

i mean yeah i need a facial but fuck

like you changed me so much and i don't like myself right now

no.

i don't want to be this person.
i changed for you but i have absolutely no idea what you did for me so you're riht i'll leave this alone i'll go be alone
i'll try to be completely fine and dandy with out you
i'm sure that fran is totally the one for me

god i'm fucking so delusional as fuck.
i'm an idiot a psycho and a lunatic
and i need to screw my head around

just fucking don't talk to me unless you fucking mean it.

yeah this is stupid.
fuck this,
what a fucking stupid day my parents finally believe me and i realize how god damn stupid this entire thing seems to everyone for real.
god.

please help me.

you know for the record,
i'm not ok

and for the record i would like you to come rescue me still and i am still in love with you but i would like to have some sort of leverage here because i'm pretty sure you have me cornered here and i don't like that.

 but also for the record all of these emotions are real and i'm really upset and i need help and no one is here to help me.
and you put me in this position,
so that's how i feel right now.