the guilt trip

won't work on me.

people can be starving.

people can be like really sad

people can be like really obsessed and miserable.

people can be tortured.

i have felt all of those emotions before and i assume way worse....
(probably)

and removing a show from netflix is not going to affect me in any way.

what might affect me that won't actually happen.

you whipping someone and causing someone or myself physical pain or punishment

you torturing someone

you threatening someone else or myself with physical pain
or lack of food

doing something illegal to yourself or someone else

threatening your own self with pain emotional or physical.

i'm really sorry if i'm making you unhappy because i don't want to do that.

but i think what would honestly make us both really happy because of the actions that are currently happening are for you to declare your feelings (hate, disdain, ignorance, love, passion, annoyance whatever to me)

and then for us to cuddle IN PERSON
and watch the show TOGETHER.

because that's not like a threat.
it's a fantasy that i fall asleep to
almost every night.
so like just because some peeps are upset about not being able to watch the show

i don't really care i'm sorry.

if people knew the truth about your feelings (my assumption of them)
and the actual truth about your actions (my assumption of them)
and what i wanted
how long i have wanted it
how long i have been waiting
and the depth of my physical and emotional pain

for a gain

i think that maybe you would understand why i don't really care.
but i'm not leaving
and i'm not choosing no one
i will continue waiting
as i am doing rn.\

and what i mean by gain - i mean EMOTIONAL GAIN.