life as a subway map

you can get on and ride until the end and have to get off at some point

you can get on and ride and get off near your house and walk

you can get on and get off and get a taxi

you can never get on

you can ride your bike

you can take the same route every day

you can take the same route only once in your life time

you can "just visit"

or you can matriculate into the thousands who are just using the subway and don't really see it as anything other than a necessary means of transport.

me,

i am not any of these,

the subway to me isn't something i want to get used to.

i want to get on the subway with a friend

and do it a couple of times

and never get a sense of normalcy from anything i do.

unless i have to use the subway

of course

but i want to get lost on the subway because i know i can call a taxi and i can find my way back another way,

there's no danger to the subway.

there aren't any unmarked packages

there's not any crazy knife fights

no vampires

no ghost stories

i don't have to sit too close for comfort to someone i don't know.

it's a sparing thing.

i'd rather take amtrak and go to another city.

or just stay home

or grab a cab.

the subway is used for adventures only.

that moment

when i first watched it's kind of a funny story

i thought i was craig

then i watched it again

and i thought i was noelle

now i'm watching it

and i think i'm zach galifinakis




i'm definately him.

i really hope that one day i don't wake up and i'm the weird egyptian dude

some rules i must include

1. i can't afford a lawyer and i don't want one because i don't want to go to court with anyone
2. i don't know how to use legalese
3. anything i say must be in CHRISTA TALK
4. if you can't interpret the meaning i meant behind it you must assume that you may not understand it at all or you MAY HAVE TO CONTACT ME DIRECTLY (CHICKEN)
5. if you don't like me get your butt out of here i can't handle negativity in my safe space
6. if you are pretending to like me because you know someone that likes me STOP, and avoid me at all costs. i'd rather have an uncomfortable silence than a FAKE FRIEND
7. if you don't understand me, and you feel like you have caused me pain or I have caused pain and i don't know, we need to talk about it DIRECTLY
8. i'm sorry whether you are sorry or not. i also forgive you whether you accept my apology or forgive me too or not.
9. i can't handle people making fun of me when i really put myself out there because you know most of the time i really don't care because i just realize that most people don't understand the situation, but when i realize that EVERYONE is making fun of me it starts to hurt. i still showboat. i still have a rep to protect, damaged or not. "POTTER STINKS" - Potter didn't stink, and he fucking won the goblet of fire rigged or not and he killed voldemort supposedly. i'm not so sure about his cursed child or whatever but like RN the battle is not ongoing + snape loved him anyways. I DIDN't put my name in the goblet of fire people i didn't. mabye i AM the chosen one. WHO FUCKin knows? like i don't have a prophecy, i didn't go to hogwarts. i'm sorry.

10. you have no right to use my photo, my medical records, any quote i have said, anything appearing like my actual life, my fingerprints, anything written or said about me by anyone, any of my art, to be used in any film unless i give you direct permission in how it is used and i am part of the editing PROCESS and final CUT.

i hope we have an understanding and that you enjoyed this chat.

P.S. I'm NOT HIDING ANYTHING. NOTHING. you can break as many laws as you want, burn me a million times and all it will do is backfire. and cause confusion among yourselves and lose me (supposedly a source of creativity)

you are a real piece of shit mr.hacker

i'd like to be able to use safari.

i'd like to be able to be able to track page views on blogger.com without seeing my own pageviews.

K,
i understand that something has happened here.

I gave zachary quinto access to my phone

my facebook

and basically every account that i have,

my xbox everything..

THAT DOES NOT MEAN HE CAN STEAL MY IDEAS..
 1..
just because you can look, doesn't mean you can take

2. if looking and reading means you HAVE to take than I INSIST you must stop looking

3 i only gave zachary permission not his entire fucking squad and all of their squads and families and crews and their homies

4 from now on leonardo has permission to look as long as he wants and he doesn't steal my fucking shit.

i don't care about the rules

i'm not going to fucking write a spec

it doesn't matter if i write a spec

because whether i write a spec or not

even if someone comes onto my blog and steals my idea and fucking writes a spec it was still originally my idea.

I COME UP WITH ORIGINAL IDEAS THAT AREN'T BASED ON ANYTHING.

YOU CAN GO ONLINE YOU CAN BUG MY HOUSE

YOU CAN READ EVERY EMAIL

i take all the files in my brain

and i dream about things

and my brain creates an original idea..

and that's fucking more valuable than a stolen spec.

so this blog-post -- i guarantee you is in defense of the episodes from love.

the more rules you create

the less happy you will be.


the more rules you break

the more free you will feel.

the less rules you care about

the happier you will be.

it's very weird

the actual comparisons i have made to the characters in girls to the people in my actual life and sometimes it changes scene by scene but you know sometimes it doesn't and it's gets weird


so adam= my half brother

jessa = my birth mother

hannah/ mimi rose = me

fran = my dad

ace = zq

desi = lizzie's husband

marnie = lizzie

shoshana = my mom if she were my age

the cool guy with curly hair = a philosophical mature version of me if i was male

so i was watching the wedding "live" which is a huge deal because i hardly EVER watch anything live
and i was like feeling the adam jessa vibes and i was LIKE YES YES YES

and i was like fran get out of there

and then i remembered that adam is actually making out with his mother.

and if he were to make out with hannah he'd be making out with his half sister.

so for the sake of the future of the show,

and my enjoyment of it

i have two options

force myself to stop thinking of these characters like my family

or think of them as my family and force myself to find it hilarious which is what i have been doing so far.

the weirdest thing is that my sister and myself belong together and they are truly in love and that freaks me out ugh

xo